HELLO November! This is my month of upgrades.

Moving from half-marathoner to marathoner.

Gracefully sliding from 20's to 30's

Dropping from 40 hours to 20 hours at Villages which means ...

Leaping into more Mary Kay.

Add to all that a renewed vigor to saying good-bye to remaining pounds, good-bye to another debt and hello to somethings new and very exciting.

Hello November. I like you already.

I am.

What do I say after I've been away for so long? My head has been spinning with everything that is coming in and out of my life. Facebook's status bar says "what's on your mind?" and the other day I read that and knew the answer was simply 'everything'.

I will have to come back tomorrow to write an articulate, whitty and metaphorically genius post, the kind this blog deserves. But tonight I want to say I'm here.

I am in Goshen.
I'm working hard.
I'm turning into a machine.
I am focused.
I am training for a marathon.
I am building my Mary Kay business.
I'm socializing.
I am making new friends.
I am busy.
I am happy.
I'm blessed.

A gorgeous morning greets us with a view of the ocean, sounds of the city, a perfect dominican breakfast & a wake up call from our favorite dominicano.

We're just not ready to come home. Boat rides, french people, near death experiences, new friends, new foods, good laughs. Shopping tomorrow before goodbyes.

Where to begin? 1-we're still alive. 2-we don't what tomorrow holds but what's new? Oh! What's new are bracelets that say "oh dios mios" our theme for the day.

Tomorrow...Helados Bon or bust!! It's been too long! Well, Helados Bon and a beach/snorkeling tour by boat where we will not get ripped off! Enough sunscreen?

Sun. Coco juice. 30min walk to city=2.5hours&tears. Burrito only means shape,not contents. 3 on moto home after 5 attempts@bank. Boogyboard saves day. No burns!

alive after a beautiful death-defying, unplanned moto ride in mtns. Rip off but my mad scared them down half price. Still expensive 'tour'. Sun-Beach-Adventure.

Favorites: heidi says "I know Sallie, you can buy a spanish board!" (Even our spanish speaking friends laughed) Sallie translating for heidi english to spanish.

Saturday: morning siesta, dominican lunch, 3D movie, catholic church. Late night out w/friends for dominican 'sushi' w/bacon, malecon w/water view & bad karaoke

Friday night: to the tv studio to watch mama film her tv show. Enjoyed flirtation of a very good looking dominican man. Dinner at fancy county club at 11:30pm!

Woke to gorgeous sun. Went to Zona Colonial in publico (7 in small car). Said 'no gracias' a lot. Had great street food after bad corn ice cream then drenched.

Arrived! Dominican lunch-yum. Siesta & shower. Walk to someplace we never found. Speaking bad spanish but understanding lots. Tomorrow-the place not found today

Fun watching 'fashion' then Flight canceled. Anger,tears,disbelief,laughter. Miami hotel, screw top wine, no luggage. Sleep nude, wash undie in sink. Luck? Fun.

Success!! 160 character blog updates start today! No pictures, we'll have to rely on internet cafes. 2 casualties today: left laundry soap & don't like purse!

I heard there was a way to text blog updates. I'm giving it a shot on my way to the airport!

A Quickie

Just a quickie update of the last few weeks.

1. got sick.
2. found out Nepal was having strikes
3. was sick and had to decide if I was going to postpone/cancel Nepal trip
4. canceled Nepal trip.
5. cried a lot
6. was still sick
7. lied on the couch
8. went through 2 boxes of kleenex
9. booked tickets to the Dominican Republic for much needed vacation
10. went back to work
11. ran 8.5 miles
12. weighed in at 154.3...15 pounds left to lose, 125 pounds down
13. met another prospective Mary Kay client
14. packed tight for my trip
15. leaving tomorrow for the DR!

Check here and/or Facebook to see photos as we can post them through the trip. I'll make sure to update when I get back on the 21st.

The End of the Dating Drought.

So folks. The drought has ended. I had a first date.

If there is any doubt I've changed my life let me just lay this out for you. It was a totally blind date. We went to a rock climbing gym. Rock climbing on a first date means you can't wear a cute dress. I went on a first date in pretty darn tight workout clothes. Yes, I looked cute but there was no hiding my butt. Speaking of butts...mine was in a harness, high in the air. My date was on the ground making sure I didn't plunge to my death. This meant when I slipped off the wall trying to swing my foot onto a ledge, I was hanging in a harness, high in the air, suspended by my butt, above my date's head.

I've never been rock climbing and had been wanting to go. So...why not have a first on a first? Although I had a bit of a freak out after committing to it, I went, had fun, challenged myself and didn't get annoyed/angry like I normally do when doing new things I'm concerned I won't be able to complete. It was like I actually had confidence in myself and my physical ability. It was like I was an athlete! :)

After hanging above my date in a harness and witnessing his cat-like abilities on the wall, we acquired a third leg to the date and went for dinner. Yeah, you caught that. My first date, wearing tight workout clothes when I first met the date, hanging in the air above his head, had a third person join us for dinner. Who does this happen to? Who does this happen to and they leave the date thinking it was ok?? I guess I do.

There won't be another date with that particular guy but I got the first first out of the way. And hey, I got a free rock climbing lesson out of it.

Oh new and exciting life. You bring twists and turns but I like you.

A Photo for your Pleasure.

I've been hearing an outcry/demand/insistence for photos. So, today before I went for my afternoon run (and my fastest one ever!) I snapped a couple of photos for your viewing pleasure.

This dress is as comfortable as my notorious "blue dress" but so much cuter.
I saw this picture and just saw strong. I think it was my leg. :)

I think the notorious blue dress was a size 20. Hello size small.

The first dress I bought for the summer fun and my first piece of clothing in size 6.

I know maybe I shouldn't love this picture because the lighting could make it weird but I just like it. That and the size 6, not cotton stretchy dress I'm rocking.

I Bought a Dress.

It was a size 6. Holy Moly.

Can You Believe It Was Only A Year?

Can you believe it was only a year ago I began running?

This past Friday I ran in Goshen's First Friday 5k run...the same run I took part in last year. Last year it was the first run I'd ever taken part in. I remember the training I did for that run...as intense as the training I did for my half marathon! (not quite but at the time it was!) Now it's a year later and not only did I run the race with little training, I finished a half marathon there in the middle!

Grass by piece of grass.

That is the first lesson I learned when I began running. People ask me how I started to run and I say "grass by piece of grass" because when I would get on the Mill Race, the trees were sometimes too far apart for me to use as a goal. Now when I get on the Mill Race I just go. I think about my stride, the level of water, which house I would like to live in and smile at the people I pass...and sometimes I look at the grass and thing "grass by piece of grass."

I would have loved to finish on Friday under 30 minutes. But it was not to be. Unlike last year I did not train for this run, in fact I'd been out of my running shoes for 4 weeks due to an injury. So although I didn't finish under 30, I did finish faster, faster than people who lead the kickboxing class I attend and most importantly, knowing that the next one I run will be faster yet.

Now when I run I enjoy the beauty of each piece of grass, rather than cursing how far apart they are.

If I had a picture from the run this year, I'd post a great then and now. Instead, you can re-read the then and I'll work on getting a now picture soon....maybe Sunday when I hit the "less than 20 left" mark?!?!?

Holding On and Letting Go

April 4 has come and gone. And although more weight has gone, my goal weight has not yet come.

Easter Sunday I was out for a nice long run, finally healed after months of injury. It was significant that I was running on Sunday because that was the day that I had set as a goal day for me to accomplish my personal weight loss goal. This date was set in January before my travel schedule was booked and my foot was injured. I'd known for months I wouldn't meet the goal but rather than regroup and make a new plan I'd been beating myself up for weeks at my slow progress. I didn't stop but I wasn't giving myself any grace. I was breaking my number one rule for weight loss...forgiveness.

As I ran on Sunday I thought the phrase "holding on and letting go" which was used for Lent this season. Holding on and Letting Go. Isn't that an everyday balance we try to reach in life? We struggle with this balance of holding on and letting go, sometimes forgetting we have to just put our hand out wide to allow opportunity to come in. This run allowed me to let go of the goal I couldn't accomplish knowing I could hold on to the fact that no matter when it happened...it would happen.

While I was running and the phrase "holding on and letting go" ran through my mind, shivers ran down my arms. I let go of my disappointment, of my feeling of failure while I held on to the belief that if I just keep on running, I will reach my goal.

It was Easter, it was spring, it was a day to be reminded that holding on to faith in myself is more important than any deadline.

Kicking into Something New

In order to get something I've never had,
I must do something I've never done!

Today I went to the wellness studio downtown and joined my first kickboxing class.

Today I did something I've never done to reach so many things I've never had.

Another Pair of Eyes

Sometimes it's good to have another pair of eyes. Someone else to see you after along period of time to remind you that progress was made.

Tonight I had a lovely family dinner, the first time in at least a month that I've seen my family in Goshen. I was surprised that they reacted with such surprise at seeing me. I feel as no progress has been made in the past two weeks, they thought otherwise.

We are our often our harshest critic. I know I am my harshest critic and my inner critic has been looking at numbers more than anything else. Tonight I was reminded that a slow crawl to me, is an amazing transformation to others.

Tonight my uncle asked if I had to sum up the number 1 tip for how I've worked towards achieving my goal what would it be? I said it was telling someone. Telling people not only creates accountability but it makes you face the shame you feel. I felt shame when this started and I felt shame again when I started doubting I could finish, when it was taking longer than I wanted to reach the goal. But it never will fail...having a way to be open and honest, having people you can share your struggles with...takes the shame away. I think I've said it before but I was reminded again tonight. Shame can't 't exist when you're honest with people who care, because by being honest with people who care you find acceptance, encouragement and support.

An Act of Discipline.

I'm writing without inspiration and without words to write. But I am writing with the hopes that building the discipline of writing regularly, once again, will move me forward to finishing. I write hoping that disciple will bring focus which in turn will bring finishing.

I know that I have to stop doubting myself. To get the thoughts out of my head that have me wondering if this is where my journey will end, if I will stop here unable to finish. For the past few weeks I haven't visualized myself losing weight and reaching my goal. Instead, I've seen myself stalled, staying at this weight, failing to reach my goal and slowly gaining it back.

I know that what you visualize is what turns to reality so I know that in addition to discipline and focus, I have to regain my optimism, to once again visualize myself finishing this amazing journey.

I bought tickets to Nepal. I'll be leaving May 6. This is to be my celebratory trip, taken in May for a variety of reasons including the weather and my sister still living there. I'm having a hard time planning for the trip, however. It could be because of the busy work schedule I've had the last few weeks but I don't think it is. I think I realize this weekend that it is really because I am feeling so crappy about my progress to completing my goal that knowing I'm going on a trip to celebrate success well...I don't feel like I've earned it.

I know the stress of feeling like a failure makes the weight loss harder.
I know thinking of failing makes me fail.
I know visualizing the worst makes it harder to achieve what will be my reality.

I know these things. But my mind is still dragging me down and I need to figure out how to turn it back around and push me forward.

I leave for Nepal on May 6. I can take advantage of each day between now and then. I can convince myself that I will make forward progress so I can celebrate on that trip. I can reach my goal weight before I leave...and at worst case (thanks to lots of walking) while I'm there.

I need to write my pledger's and let them know where I am at in my journey and when my goal is to complete. The struggle though is doing so and fully believing it will happen.

Maybe that is my goal this week. Start working again towards discipline, finding focus to my goal, visualizing the positive and believing in myself again. Those four little things, and writing to my pledger's.

Plug, Plug, Plugging...Plugging Holes I'd Rather Ignore.

It's not fast or dramatic or ending at the end of March but I'm still plugging along. Where have I been, you may wonder? After I called to rally the troops I fell away, did you think I'd quit? I won't lie or pretend that I didn't doubt myself but I haven't quit.

Many of you wrote when I asked the troops to rally, all inspired me, one has become my mantra.

"Listen to your body and mind, do what you can today. That is what's gotten you this far."

I said it out loud one day. The thing that I'm not supposed to say but had been thinking, had in my mind weighing me down. "What if I just stop here? What if I just say it's good enough?"

I had to say it out loud because I knew what the answer was but by having it my mind, not admitting that I'd been thinking it for so long, was causing me to sabotage myself, keeping me from losing week after week. I was still doing the right things to lose weight but I was doing enough of the wrong things to make the weight loss slight and slow. I was sabotaging myself. There were no "geese" in my path, just my own giant shadow causing me wonder if I should keep going.

I guess I need to say it out loud to all of you too. I doubted myself...doubted my resolve to keep going. What I learned in the process is that I still have learning to do. I've come a long way in the last two years but I'm not done losing weight yet for a reason. There are still lessons to learn during these last 25 pounds and I have to be open to learning, reflecting, being honest with myself to finish this journey of loss so I can being my next journey. I also know that when I hit my last pound gone, the lessons will continue and as soon as I stop listening to what I have to say, what I am thinking and feeling, I will catch myself slipping into bad habits I've worked to reform.

The goal is not to"not slip", it is to catch myself faster each time I slide.

As well as plugging along, I've been plugging holes I'd rather ignore. What do I mean by that? You know those things you know you have to do but you don't want to do them? The things you try to ignore but they never leave your mind and nag, nag, nag at you? They are holes. The act of "ignoring" them causes them to become bigger than they are and they suck your energy so you can't fully invest in the things you really want to be doing and celebrating.

My holes have been things I haven't done but know I need to do to fill my spirit. I need to blog to stay centered. I need to be on my Tuesday night Mary Kay calls to stay connected and positive. I don't do them and I can tell I'm not doing them but at some point it becomes a big deal to do them again. It's like an airplane....it uses most of its fuel to take off and climb to cruising altitude. Once you're cruising high, there is little effort needed to maintain. The same is true for people. I can complain about my travel schedule, say the time on the road is making it hard to maintain balance and it is probably true to say it makes it hard....it is not true to say it's not possible.

Balance is possible as long as you make it a priority and sometimes that simply requires remembering that YOU are a priority.

I am remembering that and tonight I am making myself do the thing that seemed to get bigger and bigger each day...the first blog entry after a drought. The first is always the hardest but...

sometimes the only way to get started is to just get started.

I may not make April 4 but I will make 139.8 and that is the most important number of all. That and May 6...the day I leave for Nepal. But I'll leave that blog for tomorrow.

Rally the Troops.

I feel like I'm at an impasse. That I'm stuck between what I've accomplished and what I have left to do. I'm tired.

30 pounds, I still have to lose 30 pounds. It overwhelms me. There are times I feel like it's freezing me in place. How is it that losing 100 pounds was not overwhelming? That knowing I had to lose 140 pounds didn't cause me to freeze yet these 30 left feel impossible?

They feel impossible. I have little reserves. The inspiration I'm finding in myself is sticking for shorter periods of times. I'm close to the end but I feel like it's miles away. I've been sick for more than a month. I'm back to traveling for work. I don't remember how I found the energy to do this. I'm tired.

I started this blog to share my journey but also to have people to support me when things got tough or I got tired. It's time to admit I'm tired. It's time to rally the troops.

If we talk, ask me how I'm doing. How my last workout was.
If we are planning to get together, ask me to go walking instead of to coffee.
If you think of it, email me telling me that I can do it.
If I don't blog, bug me until I do.

However you can think of it, I can use your help. My well of inspirational reserves is drying up fast, not lasting more than a day at a time, sometimes less. I typically hesitate about asking for help. I tend to struggle by myself more than I lean on others. But those habits are what got me to 280 pounds and are not what will help me lose the last 30. A wise woman has shared that you have to let people join in the celebration as well as the struggles. So I've shared my successes with you and look forward to sharing the success at the end but I could use some help to get there.

Pen on Paper

I was catching up on Biggest Loser episodes (thank you IPOD) and was inspired to write page after page, topic after topic with pen to paper. There are numerous blog entries that have been inspired and will be coming up soon.

I spent the last three weeks of January on the road and although the first week ended well the last two weeks were uninspired at best, lazy at worst. After arriving home I was just overwhelmed with frustration. When am I ever going to finish this? How is it possible when I am on the road at least two weeks every month for the foreseeable future? I was discouraged. I tried to listen to others to get the encouragement I needed, family commenting on my appearance, my mom telling my aunts I rock, friends reading my blog and giving great feedback, but that internal spark wasn't lighting.

But today I wrote and found a little of the inspiration I thought I had lost. I guess I'm just always surprised to find what I remember when I take time to listen to myself. In writing or running, I listen to what I've been feeling and find the answers I need to get moving again.

The Big Scary I Don't Want To Say It Out Loud Goal.

gulp. I'm going say my goal out loud. gulp.

I have felt fear to say it out loud. I'm afraid I'll feel more pressure to finish aka feel more stress to finish aka feel more negative if I don't make it. The thing I remind myself, when the fear threatens to keep me from saying it, is that in the end, I will reach my goal. I will finish losing the weight. Period. Today I'm just going to say out loud a pretty ambitious goal for when I would like to have lost the last of it.

I will work to lose the last pound by the end of lent this year. That's April 4. Easter Sunday.

33 pounds. 12 Sundays. 6 weeks (at least) traveling.

I decided to change my life at the beginning of lent 2008 and think it's fitting to end it on Easter. It's not a goal I can reach coasting by...exercising as I wish instead of as I need, eating "treats" with regularity. It will be reached through discipline, determination and the belief I know have in myself. It will be reached because of the belief you have in me.

And if April 4 rolls around and 139.8 doesn't appear on the scale than I will step off knowing it will happen...just not that day. But between now and April 4 the only thing I will think is "Get It Done!"

Still Moving Along.

It's funny sometimes to feel like I'm not doing enough to lose weight and then I step on the scale and it's still moving down down down.

I realized today that maybe it doesn't feel like I'm doing much because I'm doing what is habit. People wonder how long it's taken me to lose the weight. I used to feel ashamed, in a way, to say it's been 23 months (or however long it had been at that point). Ashamed, because they might wonder what took so long. I've always known, though, that I'm taking the time I need to change. Change not just my weight, but my eating habits, my physical strength, my vision of my body and my thought processes. So today as I stood on the scale, feeling like I could have done more this week, I realized that I didn't need to do more because I did what was right.

This week's weigh-in? 173.5 pounds. That's 106.3 down and just 33.7 between me and my goal.

Bring in the New Year, Throw out the Clothes!

I've been anticipating the New Year for one main reason: PURGE!

With my mom ready to fold the clothes into piles, I attacked the closet and dresser to rid myself of more than 3 trash bags of clothing and have some fun snapping photos as we went.

The piles of fun!

We made sure to try on the bridesmaid's dress from Carrie's wedding in August.
Lots of space down there!

My "Gallo Girls" t-shirt from learning tour in Guatemala.
With pillow underneath...

Without pillow underneath!

My phys ed t-shirt from middle school. This DID NOT go in the purge pile!

And now for some fun before and afters...
The skirt I got for Alyssa's bridal shower in April.

My "skinny" jeans that I bought in April. My new skinny jeans are two sizes smaller.


A niece and I over the holidays for the last three years.


And an old picture I didn't know existed that just surface. I don't know the girl on the left but the girl on the right is looking forward to an amazing 2010. And the serious party she is going to throw herself when she gets to insert an "after" into the current slot.

Reading Material Galore

With my new computer, my blogging strike has ended. Reading material galore, just in time for your new year.

New Year, More of the New Me.

I made a mantra and goal board for 2009 and it was a marvelous year so I'm doing the same for 2010.

I share with you my mantra for 2010.

Feet to the pavement with eyes on my goals, this year I'll be running to reach so much more.
Reciepes, struggles, traveling the world, stories that into a book will be twirled.
Entering new decades and reaching old dreams, with more in my heart that I wish to achieve.
Debt, fat and worry won't be in my way as I celebrate 30 & let love in each day.