I kept thinking about this book today. I could never remember what the title really was but I did keep thinking "no good, very bad day!". Do you remember this book from elementary school? I forget how the book ends but all day I just wanted to curl up in bed, give up on the day and read this book.
Between the coworkers who were less than happy to help a girl out to the car in the shop that cost more than I wanted to pay and may not really be fixed to the unexpected HUGE doctors bill from 2007 that my funny health coverage may not reimburse because it is now 2008...the day was just stinky.
All day though, what I wanted to do (other than the above mention to bed and books) was to go for a long walk to clear my head and make me feel like everything would be alright. Funny how I thought a walk would do the trick...and how I really went for a walk! I think, ok know, my typical habits would have lead me to the freezer for ice cream, not the freezing sidewalks for a walk. As I was walking I wondered what had changed that made me want a walk and not a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch (it's made from Fair Trade coffee...I have to eat it. It's my way of saving the world!) The difference? There are so many but I what I decided to call it is a discarding of indifference.
I used to be so indifferent about so many things. My life was what it was and I was tired of trying to change it to make it any better. I know though, than my life is so much more than what I boxed it into and I know that I can change it for the better...I have the control to choose a different path. I get impatient at losing 0.2 pounds in a week but I have to remember that there are other things in my life that need to be changed that will take more time to alter than my weight. So I just keep keeping on, doing what I know will put me closer to my future, facing the things I have been avoiding in fear of being weak.
Here is what I think today. I think it takes a lot more strength to put on your tennis shoes, walk, face the world & your thoughts than it does to hide behind a pint of ice cream. Even if the ice cream does help to save the world. :)
PS. I heard that interval training can increase your metabolism so I even interspersed running into my outing...I soon realized that new shoes would be needed to make the impact of running comfortable so considering the car bill, doctors bill and my desire to buy things in Guatemala, I've decided to stick to some powerful walking. :)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Two Weeks...Too Long
I was reminded today it had been too long since I'd posted on the blog. I'd been thinking the same thing so for now I'll just catch you up on how my best self has been going.
Someone asked me the other week if I'd made it to church that Sunday. I was happy to report that I had, in fact, been to church. At that time it was the first two weeks of lent, now it's been five weeks and I've visited four different churches, one twice. Last week I visited a church just a few blocks away from where I am living and it is probably my favorite one so far. The other members were nice, it was smaller than Waterford but larger than most downtown churches and it had real pews! I didn't realize how much I associate pews to a real church but I seem to have a hard time feeling like I'm a legit church sitting on a metal folding chair.
I am planning on spending Palm Sunday at the church near my house but most of all I am looking forward to spending Easter in Goshen.
I'm still attending Weight Watchers. The last two weeks of weigh-ins have shed the smallest amount of weight so I'm at a total of 12.2 pounds lost. Although I get discouraged at low numbers I constantly tell myself that at least I lost and I remind myself to look at the short goals because if I think of what I need to lose overall...well, it will be a long road at 1 pound a week! Even when I think of that though, I have to remind myself that I am changing my life and if it takes a pound a week for the next 2 years, well...I'll still be in my 20's when I've shed the last one. :)
So, I stay focused on one week at a time. My goal this week is to match my first weeks weight loss and to reach my 10% loss before leaving for Guatemala. Last week I had a training here which had me eating out 3 meals a day. I didn't track my "points" on paper but tried to see what would happen if I ate healthy and counted "points" loosely in my head. Well...I didn't gain and I barely lost but I learned that if I need to coast for a week while traveling, I can do that.
The other thing about last week was that I stayed with the trainees at the MCC housing in Akron. One of the women was on WW as well so we were able to compare menu options but best of all, we took walks together in the evening. It is so much easier to leave the house on a walk when you are going with someone else!!! Also, I realized I just like walking in Akron because it is quiet and there aren't that many routes to take. :) It sort of reminded me of when I was at Hesston and I would walk with Heidi. The company was good but not nearly as wonderful as Heidi's, the similarity was mainly in the size of the town. So, I'm thinking that I will try to take my walking gear to work with me, change and walk before even getting in the car to come home. If I want to pull a big weight loss this week I'll need to walk more so don't be surprised if you get a call to keep me company while I'm getting in my couple miles.
I went for a manicure the other week because my nails have grown out significantly. Then last week they all broke. I didn't bite them though, I filed them and will let them grow again.
All in all, I am really proud of who I have been these last few weeks. I haven't been perfect (in fact last weekend I "fell of the wagon") but I haven't let my slip ups keep me from moving forward. I have two more weeks until Easter and I must say, I'm a little sad to see it come so soon. I am excited to go home and see my parents but I don't want lent to end and my best self journey be pushed aside. For now though, I'll just keep reminding myself to worry about one week at a time.
Someone asked me the other week if I'd made it to church that Sunday. I was happy to report that I had, in fact, been to church. At that time it was the first two weeks of lent, now it's been five weeks and I've visited four different churches, one twice. Last week I visited a church just a few blocks away from where I am living and it is probably my favorite one so far. The other members were nice, it was smaller than Waterford but larger than most downtown churches and it had real pews! I didn't realize how much I associate pews to a real church but I seem to have a hard time feeling like I'm a legit church sitting on a metal folding chair.
I am planning on spending Palm Sunday at the church near my house but most of all I am looking forward to spending Easter in Goshen.
I'm still attending Weight Watchers. The last two weeks of weigh-ins have shed the smallest amount of weight so I'm at a total of 12.2 pounds lost. Although I get discouraged at low numbers I constantly tell myself that at least I lost and I remind myself to look at the short goals because if I think of what I need to lose overall...well, it will be a long road at 1 pound a week! Even when I think of that though, I have to remind myself that I am changing my life and if it takes a pound a week for the next 2 years, well...I'll still be in my 20's when I've shed the last one. :)
So, I stay focused on one week at a time. My goal this week is to match my first weeks weight loss and to reach my 10% loss before leaving for Guatemala. Last week I had a training here which had me eating out 3 meals a day. I didn't track my "points" on paper but tried to see what would happen if I ate healthy and counted "points" loosely in my head. Well...I didn't gain and I barely lost but I learned that if I need to coast for a week while traveling, I can do that.
The other thing about last week was that I stayed with the trainees at the MCC housing in Akron. One of the women was on WW as well so we were able to compare menu options but best of all, we took walks together in the evening. It is so much easier to leave the house on a walk when you are going with someone else!!! Also, I realized I just like walking in Akron because it is quiet and there aren't that many routes to take. :) It sort of reminded me of when I was at Hesston and I would walk with Heidi. The company was good but not nearly as wonderful as Heidi's, the similarity was mainly in the size of the town. So, I'm thinking that I will try to take my walking gear to work with me, change and walk before even getting in the car to come home. If I want to pull a big weight loss this week I'll need to walk more so don't be surprised if you get a call to keep me company while I'm getting in my couple miles.
I went for a manicure the other week because my nails have grown out significantly. Then last week they all broke. I didn't bite them though, I filed them and will let them grow again.
All in all, I am really proud of who I have been these last few weeks. I haven't been perfect (in fact last weekend I "fell of the wagon") but I haven't let my slip ups keep me from moving forward. I have two more weeks until Easter and I must say, I'm a little sad to see it come so soon. I am excited to go home and see my parents but I don't want lent to end and my best self journey be pushed aside. For now though, I'll just keep reminding myself to worry about one week at a time.
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